How ironic
that food is for survival
and yet it is the very thing which makes me want to die; dissapear; cease to exist.
I hate
That I cannot simply be healthy.
That ED will forever be with me.
That I cannot lose weight and exercise like a normal person.
That I can either choose obsession or slobbiness.
That I gained it all back.
That my depression and anxiety have been crippling as of late.
How lonely I am.
How many times I have had to re-iterate the same facts about going to school.
That I can’t suck it up and just get ready to move.
That that lovely man is so god damn far away.
That crushing realization that no, I was not just being healthy, and yes, I had given ED control again.
Ugh. Bye-bye fitblr.
Brazilian Butt Workout
We all want a nice butt to make our skinny jeans look good. Try out this butt workout to tighten, tone and lift your butt!
20 Squats
20 Plie Squats
20 Donkey Kicks per side
20 Fire Hydrants per side
20 Circling Donkey Kick per side
30 Alternating Split Jumps
30 Alternating Sliders
30 Hips Lifts
20 Lunges Kicks per side
Do this 3x through for an awesome butt workout! I know your buns will be burning by the end of this
(Source)
(via headphonesandnikes)
FUCK.
Didn’t weigh myself for 3 weeks.
Basically stopped my regime.
Had a mental breakdown.
Binged more than once.
GAINED ELEVEN FUCKING POUNDS.
Try to lose weight, end up with ED again. Try to not think about it, GAIN ELEVEN FUCKING POUNDS. WHAT THE FUCK.
This is the worst day. Ugh.
Going running tonight for sure.
How can I lose weight if I can’t count calories (which causes ED-ness)? Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
